Step by Step

Here we go, next installment! I haven’t caught everyone up to date with where we are at currently so here is another installment to attempt that.

As we continued to take step after step on our surrogacy journey back in Nov. I realized that I was going to need to leave my part time job at the local Christian Bookstore.  The same day I gave my notice at work we had a pastor come to the store to pick up some Bibles that were being donated to the homeless shelter he runs.  There were 2 huge carts of Bibles so I helped him roll them out to his car and load them up.  As he closed the trunk he said "Can I pray for you, Laura? I feel like the Holy Spirit wants me to pray for a big decision that you have been waiting on."  I told him I would appreciate it.

In the back of my head the question of Surrogacy was there but I also remember thinking "that’s KINDA a generic reason to pray for someone since many people have “big decisions” on their plate".  Still, I appreciated his willingness to follow the Holy Spirit's leading and he began to pray.  He went between praying in tongues to English and then half way through his prayer I could tell he had stretched out his hand.  He wasn't touching me but he had outstretched his hand toward my stomach and he prayed "I feel the Lord asking me to pray over your stomach and for whatever big decision that involves your tummy.”  I broke down right there and wept as I stood in wonder of the Holy Spirit using this man I had just met.  He finished praying and I asked if I could hug him.  I think he was a little taken aback but he gave me a hug and said "I have no idea what I did or why the Lord asked that of me, but He does and I just followed His leading.

I walked back into the store and headed to my boss’s (as well as one of my closest friend’s) office and broke down crying.  I shared with him why I had given my notice and told him about the pastor praying over my stomach.  Stories like these have been FILLING the pages of this journey!

One night as we were continuing to hash through if this was REALLY something God was asking us to pursue I remember standing at the sink washing dishes after dinner. I turned to Daniel, who was at the dining room table with the boys, and said “it’s weird to think that as HARD as we are praying about if this is the right decision for me to be a surrogate, there is possibly another family praying JUST as hard for the Lord to provide the right surrogate for them”.

After we had met with our pastor, we felt that for this journey our prayer would be “Lord, we’re going to take each next step that we come to, and if this is NOT Your will, then shut the door.” To our surprise and joy, not only has He not closed the doors but they have been FLYING open in front of us!

Before we officially chose to go with the Surrogacy by Faith agency, I had a long conversation with Amy (the founder and owner) over the phone one night.  We went over my desires and hopes for this journey as well as my preferences on different issues.  One part of Surrogacy that I never realized is that the MAJORITY of surrogates in the US actually carry for international couples.  Amy told me that the laws are so STRONG here to guarantee that not only the Intended Parents (IP) show up at the birth to take their child home, but to make sure the surrogate shows up as well and doesn’t run off with the baby.  International laws can make surrogacy difficult so many parents choose to use a surrogate in the US.  I remember I was slightly saddened because I had been envisioning walking this road closely with the IP's and their family.  Praying over this child, going to ultrasounds together, texting each other when baby kicked, etc.  Amy kind of paused over the phone and said “well something interesting AND unique happened just a few days ago.” She had gotten a call from a local married, Christian couple interested in Surrogacy.  She had no idea if they would choose to go with Surrogacy by Faith but how interesting that both they and I had contacted her in the same week.

After I completed my surrogacy profile, Amy, after talking more with the local couple, decided to send them my profile before she even published it on the website.  Chad and Stephanie (the local couple that had called her a few days prior to me contacting her) read about my heart for this journey and felt so connected that they wanted to move forward with me being their surrogate.  Amy then sent me the Chad and Stephanie's profile and I started tearing up and immediately sent it to Daniel at work and asked him to read it when he had a chance.  He also started tearing up and we could not believe how God had brought our families together all within the same week with the same heart for this surrogacy journey!

On Dec 18, we had a video call planned with both Amy and Chad and Stephanie to get to know each other and talk about our lives, journeys and hopes.  We each shared our married life stories but mainly focused on our lives of pregnancies and babies.  We laughed, cried and listened to each other’s love and loss of babies and at different points all the women had cried as we bonded!  Usually in these phone calls, the IPs and Surrogates get to know each other and then you hang up and can let Amy know if you want to proceed with the couple. IP’s get to choose and surrogates get to choose.  Amy hinted that we could end now but we all already knew our answer and we officially “chose” each other right then and there since we all had been praying over this phone call for days.  Our phones started dying from all the power and whenever someone “dropped out” of the phone call we’d hang on until a charger was found and we’d continue.  3 hours after we had started we all realized we needed to head to bed.  Amy said that these phone calls are usually about 30 min and she was excited that we all had been chatting for 3 HOURS! We could not have prayed for a more wonderful, love filled video chat!

Since it was right before Christmas, we had to wait a few weeks before we could really get things moving with the fertility clinic that Chad and Stephanie used.  We continued to share more and more with friends and family about this journey.  We shared with our church during a quick announcement at church and asked for their prayers as we continued to take each next step.

***Everything up to this point has been memories from Nov-Feb.  At this point I’m hoping to post updates about our current step and situation.  At some point in these future posts I may share the different medical procedures I went through but will try not to get too graphic***

On Feb 10, we had our first appointment at the UCLA Medical Plaza to meet with our doctor who Chad and Stephanie had worked with and will be our doctor for the embryo implantation.  It was our initial appointment so there was lots of paperwork and medical history questions. 

When we met with the doctor we were excited to learn that we may be able to attempt a natural cycle.  This means if I can track and detect my own natural cycle/ovulation then we could plan the implantation of the embryo around my cycle and would not require any additional medication.

Since we had time, we decided to check one more box off our list and we did a “Trial Transfer”.  This is a simple process where the Dr. tests to make sure there won’t be any issues using the device to implant the embryo in the next few months.  It went very smoothly and the doctor believes it will be a easy transfer when the time is right.

Right now, our BIGGEST prayer request is that using the at-home ovulation tests, I would be able to accurately track my own cycle which means we could implant as soon as April.  If I’m unable to track it accurately, then we will move onto a Program Cycle which includes medications, hormones and shots that will put my cycle into a regulated state where the doctor can know the exact best time to implant the embryo.

Since the UCLA facility is on the other side of LA, we are going to wait and do all the different blood tests, glucose test, reproductive tests, etc. at once when I go in next month. 

At this point we have signed no legal contracts as we must wait for the all the medical tests to come back clear and then Daniel and I will have a psychological evaluation with a Psychiatrist who has worked with Surrogates before. 

Steps continue to be taken and God continues to provide at every point!  In a future post I'd love to introduce you all to Chad and Stephanie and their story and how the Lord has brought them to this surrogacy journey as well!

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.  Proverbs 16:9