God Grant Me Surrogacy: Magnolia Grace Martin

So here we are.... it’s 3am on Saturday Jan 27 (the day after Baby Girl’s birth) and I’m wide awake (for at least the next 10 min) after sleeping most of the day after the C-Section. I figured what better time to write so here it goes....

The night before Baby Girl’s scheduled C-Section Delivery I did not sleep well. I couldn’t turn my mind off till midnight and then I had a 1:30am alarm set to eat a snack and drink some water since I couldn’t eat for 10 hrs. before the scheduled surgery at noon the next day.

I got the food down in about 5 min but then EXACTLY what I was nervous about happened.... I couldn’t fall back asleep. About an hour and half later I FINALLY fell back asleep and was out from 3-5am when Daniel’s alarm went off to go do his Janitorial work. I drifted in and out till he finally left around 5:30. And then about 10 min later, my youngest, Luke, stumbles up to our bed and proclaims “I think I peed in my bed”. Well, that was it, no chance I’d fall back asleep now before my 7am alarm. I got up and changed him and still attempted to lay back down but eventually gave up and got in the shower. It ended up being a really good thing because it gave me just enough time to take the morning REALLY slow and not feel rushed.

Originally, we had set the C-Section for 7:30 am but due to some miscommunications, we got bumped back to noon a few weeks ago. At first, I was really bummed but both Stephanie and I admitted that morning that it was kind of nice to just have a slow morning and not have to be at the hospital at 5am and barely awake! I truly believe God has had a hand on every single detail of this entire journey and the timing of the C-Section was no different, even if it only gave us all more time to rest and take it slow.

Ok so moving forward.... Daniel arrived home from completing his Janitorial work around 7:30. I was finishing packing (yes, I left it till the morning of, slap on wrist) and getting ready. We had decided to meet Chad and Stephanie for breakfast beforehand down the street from the hospital. Daniel and I left around 8 am and to our amazement didn’t hit too bad of traffic at all traveling from Fullerton to Fountain Valley on a weekday morning (another God thing if you ask me). As we were traveling, the 3 hrs. of rest coupled with not being able to have my daily huge glass of water when I wake up began to hit me. I go tired, slightly car sick and began getting a headache. I was so grateful that the car ride took much less time than we thought.

We got to the restaurant about 15 min early and just relaxed and waited for Chad and Stephanie. When we were first talking about a breakfast I was hoping we could get all the kids and extended family together but by the time the morning arrived I was SO grateful it was only the 4 of us because I was so tired and it was so relaxing and calming. I didn’t have anything to eat or drink (which was TOTALLY fine for me because I was slightly excited/nervous and wasn’t hungry at all). Chad joked that in a couple weeks we should all come back to the same restaurant and the three of them should be forced to sit there and watch me eat since the food was so amazing! HAHA!

We left the restaurant at about 9:45 since our check-in time was 10am at the hospital down the road. We walked in to a very peaceful lobby and Daniel and I sat as Chad and Stephanie filled out the last remaining paperwork and turned in the legal paperwork for Baby Girl! As I was sitting down, baby girl began to do some flips which I was so thankful for because she hadn’t been moving a bunch that morning, most likely because I was fasting.

Very soon we were escorted into the Maternity ward where we were sent to our prep room. I changed into a VERY stylish open backed cotton candy pink hospital gown (don’t be jealous ladies!) and got up on the bed for my surgery prep. Stephanie stayed with me and I found I was SO grateful that she is a surgeon because nothing fazed her as they got me ready. I got to answer a bunch of questions that you wonder how they have anything to do with why we were there, they started my IV, prepped my belly and then we waited.

Chad and Daniel were so funny as they were sent on errands after returning paperwork to the car only to find out a different department needed to see it and also checking out the in-house Starbucks. Within an hour they said everyone on the floor, including the security officer, knew them by heart. Stephanie and I just chatted for the remaining hour before the surgery was scheduled.

Amy, the founder and owner of Surrogacy by Faith, arrived a little later and they all got a chance to pray over me and baby girl. About 10 min before I was to walk over, Chad and Stephanie’s parents arrived to say a quick “hi” before we went back. It was like a fun party in the tiny prep room. I had met Stephanie’s Mom, Angela, once before and it was so sweet to see her again. And this time I got to meet Chad’s Mom, Carolyn. They both had this look of love and gratitude in their eyes, I seriously felt like another member of the family! Chad’s Dad was in the hallway holding Maddox who didn’t really want anything to do with the big scary hospital room so we didn’t push him at all and Grandpa took him back to the safe waiting room. Stephanie’s Dad was in the car with Mason who was sleeping off a day at Disneyland the day before followed by a morning of swimming! It’s a tough job being a kid 😉.

Soon the nurses arrived to say it was almost time to walk over to the OR (Operating Room) to begin my Spinal Block and remaining prep. At one point I turned to Stephanie and confided in her that the Spinal Block was the last step that always made me kind of nervous and in South Africa they let Daniel stand next to me and comfort me but here in the US, it’s all done before anyone is let into the OR. My first C-Section was AFTER I had started labor which made sitting still very difficult. My second C-Section, it took them two tries to get the block started. Stephanie leaned forward and gently held my arm and said “let’s pray right now”. She prayed the block would work on the first try and that everything would go smoothly.

One last thing the Anesthesiologist had mentioned to me when she came it to prepare me a few min before is that it’s already hard to breath while being pregnant and a Spinal Block makes it’s EVEN harder, so I was going to need to intentionally take deep slow breaths and that she would continue to remind me while in the OR. I didn’t think much of it since I had done this before and didn’t remember having any issues with breathing.

So, they came to get me and I walked down the hallway to the OR. Stephanie was asked to wait in one of the rooms while they finished prepping me and covering me with the full gown that would only expose my belly.

We got into the OR and I felt my nerves rise a little bit. OR’s are not the homiest of places and I knew the Spinal Block was coming. They got me set up on the side of the bed and I was easily able to get into the correct position I had done twice before. Drop the chin and roll your back. The nurse said “oh I can see you’ve done this before”.

They continued getting everything set up and the Spinal Block went incredibly smooth! In fact, I was shocked at how quickly and relatively painless it was, Thank You Lord!

The first sign that the block is working is for your feet to become warm. Once you feel that they quickly ask you to swing your legs up to lay down on the table.

I was SO excited to be past my last “hurdle” I remembered from my previous C-Sections and looked forward to just relaxing.... well not exactly.

The Anesthesiologist sat by my head and said “are you breathing deep? You forgot to continue breathing deep”. I remembered thinking “I can breathe fine but ok, I’ll breath deep”. She put an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth and then all of a sudden, I felt it. My deep breaths felt like I was getting a third of the oxygen my body wanted and needed. I’m a very stubborn person and REFUSED to freak out but I definitely was getting worried. I was so glad the Anesthesiologist had warned me so I knew it was normal but each breath had to be fully intentional and extremely deep. Another friendly warning, she gave me was “if you get nauseous, just turn your head and throw up”. Again, not something I experienced AT ALL with my other C-Sections so I didn’t think much about it. As I was laying there trying to stay calm they tilted the table slightly to the left to get the pressure of Baby Girl off my stomach and lungs. The Anesthesiologist put her head over mine and said “open your eyes all the way so I can know you’re ok”. I remember thinking “no problem” but when I went to open my eyelids it was MUCH more difficult than I expected. Then I felt it and told her “I feel nauseous”. Luckily, they got me meds right away and by the grace of God the nausea went away without me “losing it”. Then my last hurdle arrived in a massive onset of a headache. Felt like within 30 sections my head was in a vice. Again, the Anesthesiologist helped out by applying pressure and reassuring me it was all part of the meds taking over.

At this point I heard them bring in Stephanie and they had her sit on a stool by my outstretched arm so she could see my head (which was under this kind of make shift fort) and also be able to watch her baby girl come into this world.

Literally about 5 seconds before she sat down the pressure in my head instantly released and I was in complete HEAVEN! Fully numb and able to breath fine, no nausea and no headache! The hardest part after that was staying awake as my 3 hrs. of sleep the night before plus no food began to set in.

I was SO grateful that all the symptoms went away and all I had to do was wait. They said it would only take about 10-15 min from when they started for Baby Girl to be out. It took a tiny bit extra because of my previous scar but soon the time came. The first thing I heard the doctor say was “ooh she’s a feisty one” (as I’m guessing she came out kicking). BUT she came out quiet. Both Stephanie and I later confided in each other that we were trying to stay calm waiting for that first cry. All the doctors and nurses seemed totally fine and commenting on “here she is” but still no big cry. Then suddenly we heard two tiny whimpers before Magnolia Grace let out her first wail of her life! She was perfect! I told Stephanie before we went into the surgery that I would be 100% fine and that I wanted her to be with Magnolia and take pictures and go have bonding time with her, they would just be stitching me up and I would be completely fine!

When she was first born the doctor asked if I wanted to see her which I emphatically said yes. As they lowered the curtain and I saw her face I INSTANTLY thought she looked like her big brother Maddox! It was such a special moment!

Stephanie stayed by Magnolia’s side as they cleaned her up and also got the extra fluid out of her lungs (which is very common in C-Section babies). She kept returning to my side to make sure I was ok and I kept insisting I was fine and was probably going to take a nap so feel free to go to the recovery room.

The nurse brought Magnolia over one more time so I could see her and took some photos of Us 3 Girls together! It was so sweet!

After Stephanie left I had about 20-30 min of stitching and cleaning me up. I was so tired and just closed my eyes. All I could keep repeating in my head was “Thank You Lord, Thank You Lord!” Although those were the only words, my mind raced with what I was thankful for, above anything else I was thankful Magnolia had arrived safely and I had completed my duty. Now before anyone starts saying “that sounds like this was just another job for you”, let me explain, yes actually this was just like a VERY intense “job” for me. Except this “job” was DRENCHED in love and commitment and worry and friendship and God and every other emotion you could think of. I would tell people it’s like when you babysit someone else’s kids, you’re almost ALWAYS more careful than you are with your own cause it’s SOMEONE’s else’s kids. Well Surrogacy is very much like that. These last two weeks have been mentally EXHAUSTING as Magnolia had slowed down her movements quite a bit and I was terrified something was going to happen to her. So, when she came out with 10 fingers and 10 toes with the tiniest little cry, all I could think was Thank You Lord!

Once the doctor was finished and the nurses got me all cleaned up they used this AWESOME inflatable pillow thing to lift me onto the stretcher and out we went to my “waiting room” before my personal recovery room was available. As they were transporting me, I felt the nausea start coming back and the extreme fatigue kick in. I will spare you all the lovely details but let’s just say for SOME reason (I’m not sure if it has to do with the difference in meds between South Africa and the US or my age or whatever) my body did not handle the aftermath of the C-Section as well as before. I literally was in and out of sleep for about 6 hrs. I could barely speak to Daniel and at times would mumble about yo-yo’s and my dentist bag. Also, every time I woke up I threw up.

By the time this had happened 3 or 4 times I could see Daniel’s “papa bear” side coming out as he insisted there MUST be some other anti-nausea meds they could give me. But truth was they had maxed out on what they could give me AND I wasn’t even nauseous after a while. Seriously, I’ve never had something like this before and it’s hard to explain. I’d just wake up, throw up and go back to sleep. I wasn’t in pain or nauseous or anything! Just extremely tired and barely able to keep my eyes open for more than about 15 min.

A few hours later, I was finally able to keep my eyes open long enough for Chad and Stephanie to bring in Magnolia for me to hold. It was so sweet and I loved looking at her face that looked so much like her family! A little part of me was so nervous I would think she looked like my boys when she came out and I truly believe it was another God thing that the first thing I thought when she came out was how much she looked like her brother!

So, I got to hold her for a few minutes before I feared my hourly “bag time” was coming up and handed her back to Stephanie. Daniel got a chance to hold her as well and loved it. Amy was also about to head back to the airport to fly home so we all said our goodbyes.

Daniel wasn’t planning on staying the night but offered if I wanted him to because of all the symptoms I had. I honestly wasn’t sure but then Stephanie reminded me that she and Chad were staying the night right down the hall with Magnolia and could be here in a second if I needed someone. I think it was in that fatigued, blurry moment that I realized how incredibly close our families had become through this whole process because I felt instantly relieved and knew I would be completely fine with Daniel heading home for a good night’s rest in our own bed (as well as be with Grammy who had been alone with the boys all day). I knew Chad and Stephanie would take care of me if anything arose. And then I fell back asleep.

I remember waking up around 8pm and for the first time since the C-Section, I was feeling more human. No vomiting and I could open my eyes easily. Daniel had left my cell phone within reach and I picked it up for the first time since 10:15 that morning. My nurse for the night just happened to come in at that time too and began giving me an overview of what the night shift would entail. I felt bad that I had NO idea the names of my day nurses, because I usually love to chat with them but I had been so out of it I could barely remember their faces if asked too.

Anyway, Sheila (my night Nurse) let me know that at some point before midnight we would need to try and stand up and also try to pump twice for Magnolia if I could. Because I actually felt like I had some energy I suggested we try the first round of pumping now. The hospital has an amazing pump set up right in my room and Sheila got me all set up right as Stephanie poked her head in the door to check on me which was great timing because she had used this type of pump with her oldest and knows more about these things than I do. She also kept me company for the 15 min and then was able to take the small amount I got straight over to Magnolia.

My IV of fluids ran out just before midnight so I called the nurse and while she changed out the bag we decided it was a good time to change the bed, have me attempt to stand (hunched over of course) just by the side of the bed and pump one more time. Got through all of it and promptly fell back asleep.

I never really sleep very deep in a hospital so I got little nuggets here and there. About 2:40 I was awake and I was REALLY awake! They came and took my vitals, I got a second cup of ice chips and I decided, why not see how much or this amazing day I could type out before I get tired again. An hour and a half later I’ve come to the end and my eyelids are starting to get heavy again!

I will need to go over and edit all this before posting and not even sure I can post on my blog from my phone but at least it’s all written down to the best of my groggy memory!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for praying Magnolia and I through the C-Section yesterday! There may have been a few more “hurdles” than I anticipated but as of now I’m healing well, resting well and my heart is so full of joy for God’s provision on every step of this AMAZING journey!

Here are some of the wonderful pics from the last 2 days: