T-Minus 4 days!

I’ve been telling myself for about a week that I need to do a quick update on these last few days before birth of baby girl and kept putting it off. Well let’s see how far I get....

About a week ago I re-shared my post from June about the “unsung heroes of Surrogacy” which is about all the hard work my loving husband has put into this journey. I was motivated to share it because the flu bug hit our family HARD the second week of January and Daniel became our Florence Nightingale for 4 days straight. I cannot remember ever feeling that weak and sick but I’m sure being 36 weeks pregnant at the time made it even harder. Luckily, I didn’t have fevers or vomiting but the Prego body aches combined with sick body aches kept me in bed for almost 3 days straight. Each of the boys came down with their own versions of the bug and they each seemed to get it a day apart from each other. They all dealt with fevers and then combinations of runny tummy and vomiting. Daniel was able to work from home and did such an amazing job keeping us hydrated and eating whenever we could. And by the grace of God, and multiple doses of Airborne, Daniel never got sick and was able to avoid his own bed-ridden consequences!

Originally, Grammy (aka Daniel’s Mom) was due to arrive from South Africa that Thursday but she was facing her own intense bronchitis and had to push her flight back a few days just to recover. 

By day 5 I was finally feeling a little better and the boys all had stopped with the fevers. I decided we would take the whole weekend off in order to make sure all the germs were gone and allow us to recover. 

On Sunday (Jan 14) we all were feeling better and Grammy arrived that afternoon! And I have been spoiled rotten ever since!

I know that I would find a way to survive if I had to but having Grammy here has been SUCH a blessing! She’s been cooking and cleaning and taking the boys outside to run around. I am STILL dealing with congestion left over from the bug which makes me even more tired and lethargic and both her and Daniel have been so good to me, letting me just sit and sew or nap and relax!

I also have been spoiled by friends as well! Our group of homeschool moms put together a care basket for me and a couple from our church offered to watch the boys one night so Daniel and I could go out together (Grammy went to Arizona for the weekend to see her sister and we still got a night away).

Today was my last OB check-up and I asked Daniel to drive me because I’ve just been so tired and been having sinus pressure from my cold. It was really special cause Stephanie was able to make it so she could meet the doctor who will be performing the C-Section in person before the big day! Stephanie had to rush from her clinic and made it just in time! Right as she walked in the receptionist called me over and said the doctor had just been called over to the ER and wasn’t sure if he would be back in time. She asked if I wanted to see someone else or wait and see if the doctor would be back in time. I told her I would like to wait since our IPs were here and the C-Section was Friday. Luckily the doctor was back in about 20 min so we all got to meet with him. 

Of course, every other appointment, baby girl has been pretty easy to find the heartbeat and this time she was hiding a bit. I was laying there thinking “come on big girl, don’t make your mama nervous!” But the whole time the doctor was searching for a good reading, you could see her rolling around so we knew she was ok, it was just a little nerve wracking for a few minutes! But when we got a good read, her heartbeat was steady at 130 and strong! 

At my previous appointment, the doctor measured my belly and said “well she isn’t going to be a small baby!” Even though baby girl is 100% biologically Chad and Stephanie’s and has NO DNA of mine, the birth size of babies can be some genetics but also how my body “grew her”. My own babies were 8lbs 7oz, 8lbs 2oz and 9lbs 2oz so chances are that baby girl could be on the bigger size. The doctor gave his “guesstimate” of 8lbs but I guess we’ll have to wait and see!

After the appointment I walked Daniel and Stephanie around to the Center for Childbirth where we will be on Friday and then we said our goodbyes!

We stopped by CVS on the way home to grab me some Sudafed to help relieve some of the sinus pressure I’ve been feeling. I told Daniel on the way to the appointment that IF the doctor tried to postpone the C-Section AT ALL because of my congestion, I wanted him to push to keep it on Friday because I just need to get this little girl safely into her parent’s arms! I have been so nervous these last 2 weeks about getting baby girl into this world safely that I would rather deal with congestion and healing from a C-Section instead of postponing! Luckily the doctor didn’t say anything and we are still on schedule for Friday!!

And so, we wait! I’ve continued to see a chiropractor about every 3-4 days to try and help my sciatica pain and to keep me as aligned as possible! I have one more appointment on Wednesday before birth and am still praying that the pain goes away after birth of baby girl and doesn’t turn into any form of chronic pain.

Well I think that’s about it! Probably won’t write again till about Baby Girl is here! I will have 2-3 days of healing in the hospital so hoping to post in my spare time but no promises! I will definitely post at some point with the birth story! 

Thank you to everyone who has followed along on this journey! And for those who have been praying us through it, words could never adequately express our gratitude! The very first day we even considered Surrogacy was Nov 3, 2016 and here we are just shy of 15 months later about to complete this journey! We are still in shock of how smooth and “God soaked” this process has been! Chad and Stephanie have truly become lifelong friends for us and not just because of my carrying baby girl. Sometimes I can’t remember NOT being their friends because we get along so well!

If you think of us, keep us in prayer for these last 4 days! Baby girl has REALLY slowed down (which is normal in the last few weeks) but I find I get nervous more easily when I haven’t felt her move. But just when I get nervous she’ll make a nice slow roll across my belly. I told people at church that it’s like she is JUST as ready as me to be done. She rolls over and gives a little kick like “I’m out room, let me out!”

Thank you again for all the love and support of our family! We’ll check in again soon from the other side!

30 Days and Counting!

Exactly one month to go! Jan 26 is our date for my repeat C-Section and we’re down to counting days!

My mom was here for the week of Christmas and Daniel was able to take a few days off. At first, I resisted letting them spoil me but soon decided to revel in it. I only made dinner once or twice and I haven’t washed a single dish in over a week. When my mom first arrived, I tried to keep up so we would have as much time together but quickly accepted her offers to watch the boys while I took naps!

Of course, I got the bad head cold going around the night before she arrived so on top of normal pregnancy fatigue I was battling congestion and a sore throat. Luckily none of it ever got too bad and our week was still filled with lots of fun and outings and chats! The pic below is me and my youngest Luke having fun dipping pretzels in white chocolate!

I was telling my mom that I don’t remember feeling THIS exhausted at the end of my pregnancies with the boys and she gently reminded me that it’s been 8 years since my first pregnancy and 4 since my last. She had me when she was 30 years old and remembered that everything was a little tougher.

But beyond fatigue and some muscle aches, everything else is going so smoothly. Every time I have an OB check-up I try to write a little summary to Chad and Stephanie. For the last month or so, there hasn’t been much to report. I usually say “had another boring check-up which is the BEST kind”. “Boring check-ups” mean everything is right on track. Good blood pressure, good belly measurements, good heartbeat.  The hospital I’ll be delivering at is about 20-45 min away depending on traffic and sometimes I feel silly cause the doctor comes in, we chat, he looks at my stats and says “ok see you in a few weeks”. Haha! Again, they may be “boring” but it’s the best kind of boring I could ever pray for.

I’ll have one more checkup the first week of January and then move into the weekly check-ups just to keep an eye on my numbers.

We have a Missions Conference coming up about an hour away the first week of January. The doctor had them print up my basic records to have with me if, heaven forbid, there is an emergency. Hoping it will be an uneventful time away for our family!

Then the second week of January, Daniel’s Mom arrives from South Africa to stay with us through the birth! I’m so excited to have her here, not only for the extra help but also cause she’s one of my best friends (I know that sounds corny but it’s true) and she helps me keep my sanity on tough days with the boys!

We have one more day planned to spend with Chad and Stephanie and their boys in early January to just hang out and we’re all excited to see each other again! When Daniel and I first started thinking and praying about a Surrogacy journey we both dreamed of carrying for a couple somewhat local so we could walk this road together. Our prayers couldn't have been answered any more clearly than with Chad and Stephanie coming into our lives! We know that our families will be friends for life but not just because of baby girl, but because we are so similar and our kids love each other and our families have just grown so close through all of this!

So here we are, 30 days and counting....

A wonderful break!

I’m not even sure where to start……this last weekend was AMAZING!

Perhaps I should start with the week BEFORE last week as a good set up.  The middle of November tends to be a super busy week for our family.  My husband is in charge of a special event at our church and is gone most of the week which isn’t too rough but being 29 weeks pregnant at the time AND since Southern California decided that it STILL wanted to keep some remnants of Summer with warmer temps, the week was pretty rough for me.  My wonderful hubby did make sure to ask for Thursday Nov 16 off since it was my 31^st birthday.  I got to sleep in, the boys and Daniel cleaned the house while I napped and then Daniel took me out to Dinner and a movie, it was a great day!

On a side note: I love number patterns! I like to say I have Prime children because they were born on the 1^st, 3^rd and 5^th of their months.  A few years ago, I started looking at my ages of big life events in the last decade or so and found an awesome pattern, which will continue with the birth of sweet baby girl in January….

Age 19 – Met Daniel

21- Married

23- Birth of my first son

25- Birth of my second son

27- Birth of my third son

29- Moved our family back from South Africa to the US and arrived on my birthday

31- Birth of our sweet surrogate baby girl

Needless to say, it’s been a BUSY 12 years and I’ve loved it all!

Ok back to my update.  By the time Tuesday Nov 21^st arrived I almost begged Daniel not to go and leave me alone again with the boys but I knew he just had to go finish a few last items at work and then would be off for an entire week.  And boy oh boy has it been an AMAZING, restful week for our family!

On Thursday (Thanksgiving) we got to go visit our wonderful family that only lives about 20 minutes away! They did all the cooking and prep and all I had to do was bring the Hawaiian Rolls!  I was SO grateful I didn’t have to turn on my own oven that day because warm temps wasn’t enough for Southern California, they decided they needed to really shine and have record high temps in the 90’s on Thanksgiving Day! Seriously, SoCal? Seriously! The seven-month Prego would REALLY appreciate it if you stopped showing off and just PRETENDED we were in Fall! Anyway, we had a wonderful day with family, eating and chatting and relaxing!

The next day began our AMAZING weekend away with Chad, Stephanie (baby girl’s parents) and their 2 adorable boys.  We packed up what seemed like enough stuff to last us a week and headed 2 hours north to Oxnard. (anyone else notice how you have to pack exponentially more stuff with the addition of each new child?)  We were debating taking the inland freeways or braving the coastal highway with lots of street lights.  We finally decided that if we were going to be stuck anywhere, we’d rather have the beautiful scenery of the coast to watch.  I haven’t driven much of the 1 Hwy. but it was SO beautiful! 

We didn’t hit too much traffic at all and made it to the Channel Islands about 30 mins after Chad and Stephanie.  We actually stayed at Stephine’s parent’s home right on the water with its own dock and everything.  It was BEAUTIFUL! I found myself incredibly grateful that Chad and Stephanie also had two young boys and had placed a few strategic sheets and blankets over some couches and benches.  I always find I’m more relaxed when vacationing with other young families cause we all just understand a little more about kids and keeping them entertained and safe!

The first day there, Stephanie’s good friend from childhood (who lived nearby) came by to visit with her 2 kids.  Her little boy was right around the age of all the others and we had 6 boys ranging from 20 months-age 7 running around and playing so nicely together! She also brought her 4 month of baby girl who mainly sat with us three mommies while we chatted and got to know each other better!

It was such a nice relaxing afternoon! Around 4:30 we loaded everyone into the cars and headed to the “Pirate Park” (as Luke named it) around the corner and let the kiddos run out some energy.  Then we headed over to Toppers Pizza for a delectable dinner with 5 types of pizza!  We said goodbye to Stephanie’s friend after dinner and headed back to the house.

The boys were a little riled up from a day of travel and settling in but once they all seemed happy in their beds, Daniel, Chad, Stephanie and I sat down to what we all had been looking forward to the most…. Strategy Games! They taught us Qwirkle the first night and I must say I picked it up pretty fast with a double Qwirkle and an eventual win…. I’m only SLIGHTLY competitive!

The next day after breakfast, Gabriel was begging to try out the kayaks on the dock.  We got all the boys fitted with life jackets and daniel took turns taking each of our boys out for a little paddle.  I walked inside for a few minutes simply because it was SO hot on the dock I felt like I was overheating.  Next thing I know, Ethan comes running up saying “Mom, Gabriel is in his own kayak, come see!”

I walked outside to see my 7-year-old out in his own kayak after a 5-minute lesson with daddy.  And he was doing pretty well! Daniel was out in the other kayak close by and it was just a little private harbor so not too much trouble to get into but I still had to tell myself to stay calm! Ha-ha!\

After the kayaks, Chad brought out a toy racing boat his boys had received from their uncle! All five boys and both daddies spent a good hour outside playing with the boat on the water.  It seems the biggest lesson for the boys to learn was to watch the boat not the remote control when driving the boat!

All this time, Stephanie and I chatted and relaxed on the couch!  It was so calming!  After the battery died on the race boat they all came inside and we popped a Christmas movie on while we chatted about what to do next.  It was about 10:30 am and we began chatting about a trek back to the park down the street and heading over the sand dunes for some beach time.  As we talked we all kinda folded more and more into the comfy huge L-shaped couch and eventually decided we should just plan something after the boys’ nap.  Chad got quiet first at the end of the couch followed by daniel and soon they were both snoozing.  I scooted closer to Stephanie cause baby girl started kicking and she got to feel her rolling around. 

I had taken my next sewing project with me and enjoyed just quilting while the beach house became a napping house.  Later that afternoon we took the kids back to the Pirate Park and got more wiggles out.  Then we came home when we all started shivering! Yes, you heard me right…. the fog blew in enough to even make the Prego lady shiver which felt SO nice after months of sweating! We came home and Stephanie made us a spaghetti and meatball dinner complete with hidden shredded vegetables which all the kids ate! We separated to get all 5 boys through baths and showers and cleaned up for bed.  We relaxed with a movie and then marched all the boys up to bed!

Again, like little elves, the adults snuck downstairs to try out more strategy games! This night we all learned Ticket to Ride for the first time and LOVED it! Took us awhile to learn all the rules but once we got the hang of it, we had a blast! Did I mention that the 5 lb. bag of peanut MnM’s and 3 different types of Klondike bars only seemed to materialize after the tiny humans were in bed? Coincidence? I think not!

We played another round of Qwirkle and then all headed to bed a little earlier after a long day! We were laughing and joking all night long and I found I was SO grateful again that the Lord had brought our families together for this surrogacy adventure!

The next morning, we packed up and headed to Chad and Stephanie’s church about an hour back towards home in Pacific Palisades.  We so enjoyed worshipping with them and meeting their friends! We all went to lunch afterwards with some frozen yogurt to follow it all up!  After all the tiny humans were officially sugared up, we said our goodbyes, shared multiple hugs and headed home.

It was a VERY quiet car ride home and luckily there wasn’t any LA traffic and it was a pretty quick drive.  I fell asleep about 20 min before home but still felt exhausted when we got there.  I trudged up the stairs telling Daniel “I don’t know if I will be able to fall back asleep.”  He chuckled and said “I think you will be fine falling back asleep.”  Fast forward 2 hours later and Luke is standing by our bed asking “mommy when are you getting up?”  It took me a good 30 min to fully wake up and roll (yes I ‘ve hit that point where the easiest way out of bed is rolling) out of bed! Ha-ha!

Today (Monday) is Daniel’s normal day off and it has been so necessary! We have been able to get all our ducks in a row and settle back into normal life before work starts tomorrow! I also took the whole week of Thanksgiving off from Homeschooling since we started Aug 1 and haven’t taken a prolonged break yet.  So tomorrow its back to life! But we are SO grateful for the week we’ve had!

It was funny all weekend to see these five rambunctious boys playing together and then we all would remember that baby girl will be here before we know it! Which by chance is exactly 2 months from yesterday!

My last appointment went well and was very uneventful (which is exactly the type of appointments you want at this point).  The doctor checks my belly size and baby’s heartbeat.  We discuss any questions I might have and that’s it!  We’re now down to an appointment every two weeks and will soon move to a weekly appointment as we get closer!

Daniel’s mom has officially bought her plane ticket and will be crossing the Atlantic from South Africa to help us in the last 3 weeks and I couldn’t be more thrilled for her coming! 

Other than that, I continue to hear about other surrogacy journeys and I realize how much we HAVEN’T had to deal with and find I am again, shocked not shocked as God has soaked every detail of this journey and we have all trusted Him with each step and we continue to trust His Will no matter what happens.

Thanks for following along!

From 107 degrees to 69!

When the nausea hit with the first heatwave of Summer I would tell people “at least when I feel like a whale in the second half of pregnancy it will be cooler”. 

HA! It’s like I forgot I live in Southern California! Today’s high was 107! Come ON! Luckily, we anticipated the heat and spent all day inside with full A/C and I’ve been chugging water like it’s going out of style!

Last week I had a routine check-up plus the “lovely” glucose test for gestational diabetes. About 2 hrs. before my appointment I got a call from the receptionist informing me that my doctor was stuck in surgery and, if I was ok with it, I would be meeting with one of the nurse midwifes. I was a little hesitant just because I prefer meeting the doctor each time but they assured me they do this all the time and the check-up will be the same.

So, I showed up to the doctor’s office for my 12:40 “sugar drink” appointment. Anyone who has ever had a glucose test knows it’s not the absolute worst but it’s like drinking 8oz of melted lemon lime popsicle. And you only have a few minutes to drink it. Ugh! Oh well, got it down and then they handed me a timer to return in exactly 1 hr. to have my blood drawn.

My appointment was booked for 1pm so I waited and was called back shortly. Blood pressure was perfect (last appointment their first read was off the charts and I tried to stay calm as they re-checked and it showed completely fine numbers). I’ve decided to not look at the scale cause knowing how much I’ve put on is only going to make me stress more. 

I waited in the doctor’s office and then the nurse midwife arrived. She was so nice and I was able to ask her all my questions I had prepared for my doctor.

I have been having more pelvic aches and pains this time around, which the midwife explained that since this is my 5th pregnancy, everything is more stretched out so it makes sense that I’m having more pressure lower. She suggested a belly band to help support my growing belly.

I also asked her about the amount of people allowed in the OR for the c-section. She told me hospital policy is usually only one person but they may make an exception for surrogates. I also found out that usually they don’t let the husbands be in the OR for the spinal block which is usually my most nerve wracking part that Daniel has talked me through twice. I’ll have to double check with the doctor on the policy but either way I know I’ll be in good hands.

She also mentioned that the hospital will be providing me with a binder to wear around my stomach after birth which is AWESOME! I wore both girdles and binders after all my births so knowing I’ll have one to wear in the hospital is pretty cool!

She mentioned (without exact numbers) that my weight was doing ok, it was a little high but not too bad. Phew! (I’m already planning my triumphal return to Weight Watchers as soon as I can after I’m healed post birth).

I also got a chance to ask her about our family possibly traveling overseas just 5 weeks postpartum. I had been a little concerned but she thought since I won’t have a newborn to take care of and if I make sure to take the first 2 weeks really easy to heal, I should be ok. We are attempting to finalize our 3-yr. old applications for South African Permanent Residency before the expiration date of Mar 7, 2018.  Even though we live in the US now, we paid for the residency back a year before we knew we were leaving South Africa and, if Gabriel and I are approved, we would never have to worry about travelling visas or permits again when traveling in and out of South Africa (Where Daniel’s side of the family live).

I left the appointment very grateful for such an amazing hospital and staff that have taken such good care of me! 

Some may remember that I had originally gone to a different OB at a completely different hospital back around 10 weeks.  I got a call a few days later telling me they didn’t take my insurance.  I was quite frustrated (and cried) that I would have to find a different doctor and hospital.  BUT through it all I reminded myself that God was in control and He knew it all.  Since then I have come to absolutely love my new OB and hospital.  I always feel so calm and relaxed there and, even though it’s a slightly farther drive, I feel such peace whenever I go.

So, I started writing this update a few days ago but never finished so now we are past the heatwave and it’s a glorious 69 degrees outside and I already feel 75% better!  So nice for Fall to finally arrive, even if it is a month late!

Other than that, baby girl has continued kicking and growing!  After our next appointment in the beginning of Nov, we will begin having appointments every two weeks! Last Thursday (Oct 26) marked exactly 3 months till our planned repeat c-section.  It really hit me how close we are getting! At night I use these awesome Belly Bands (basically headphones for my belly) and play messages and stories read by Chad and Stephanie to their daughter.  I also play some Mozart for her!  We’re so excited to spend some time with Chad and Stephanie at the end of Nov for a few days too! I think that’s about it, thanks for following along in this journey!

Half Way There!

Well we are officially over half way there till little Girl arrives! The last few weeks have been pretty standard. Growing belly, increasing hormones, more excitement, etc. 

On Sept 18 we had the official BIG ultrasound where they scan all parts of baby to make sure all the fingers and toes are there and so much more! At one point the ultrasound tech said, "and now I'm going to check the heart for all four chambers". I was reminded again what an age we live in where they can check the chambers on the heart of a 20 week old baby still growing in the womb! I also remember thinking "gosh these techs are amazing, I can barely make out a profile of sweet baby even after they point it out to me while they can find all the little organs and chambers and detect if something is missing or forming differently.

It was a REALLY special appointment because Chad and Stephanie were able to come! They brought their oldest son, Maddox, also so he could see his baby sister moving around on the screen. Daniel also came along since we only get to see our sweet IP's about once a month. 

So first they take me back for the 30-min scan alone. I remember when I was pregnant with Gabriel and we showed up to find out the gender and they told daniel he had to wait for 30 min before coming in (he was not the happiest camper) but when we asked the tech about it they told us that they need to focus solely on taking hundreds of pictures for the doctor to review and having dad standing over their shoulder asking questions or pointing out what they think might be wrong can distract and make the techs job even harder.

Needless to say, we were prepared for the first solo scan and they pulled me in a few minutes early which was awesome cause you have to go in with a full bladder and delayed appointments can make that part difficult.

I got into the scan and after about 15 min the tech asked me to go use the restroom because I had drunk SO much water in prep that she was having a hard time pushing down on my lower belly for photos! Ha-ha! Leave it to me, the "over-achiever" to drink so much I actually over did it!

After about 30 min we called everyone in and got to see pics of sweet baby girl! Of course, I was laying on the table still so I mainly just watched their faces since I couldn't get the best view.

I think Maddox' reactions were my favorite. At first, she just showed us still shots she had taken and poor Maddox looked so confused. He kept turning his head and putting it on mommy's shoulder. Then the tech switched over to live feed and baby girl started moving around and his little face lit up and he started pointing and saying "Baby! Baby!".  He would look from the screen to the scanner on my tummy with a quizzical look and I think it slowly dawned on him! It was so sweet to watch! 

After the appointment, Daniel told me that while he and the family were in the waiting room before being called in, another patient showed up with a baby in a stroller. On the way to the appointment, Chad and Stephanie had been telling Maddox that he was going to see the baby.

So, when the other patient came in with a baby, Maddox asked expectantly "is that our baby? Do we get to take that baby home?"  Ha-ha! Oh, sweet boy, she will be here soon but not yet!

I had my follow up appointment two days later and everything looks great! The ultrasound actually hadn't been signed off yet so my doctor couldn't see the exact results but reassured me that if there had been any issues they would have contacted him the day of the scan so in this case, no news was good news. A few days later the ultrasound report was posted to my patient portal and everything looks great!

At my follow up appointment the doctor said we could book the c-section at this point. Because my last two babies were delivered through c-section, we are doing a repeat c-section with baby girl.  They like to plan repeat C-sections at 39 weeks, I'm guessing to avoid me going into labor beforehand.  I told the doctor I would have to run the date by Chad and Stephanie too but I was pretty certain Fri Jan 26 would be the best due to work schedules and such. 

I must admit this was a whole new world for me! My second born was an emergency c-section after hours of labor. My third, we were attempting a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after C-section) but he never came on his own and inducing after a c-section can be very dangerous. So, after a routine checkup we felt the Lords peace to walk across the street to the hospital for little man’s arrival. Now with baby girl, we know when she will arrive (as long as she stays put up to 39 weeks).  

Anyone who knows me, knows I am an EXTREME planner so picking a date was pretty exciting! The date worked great for Chad and Stephanie as well so I ran out and bought a 2018 Calendar just so I could hang it up and put baby girl's arrival on it!

In the last two days I think baby girl has started some tap dancing classes in there! Its so crazy to be feeling baby kicks again! I was able to get some quick videos to send the Chad and Stephanie which was awesome!

One prayer request I've been asking for is my anxiety for the rest of the pregnancy.  This last weekend I was able to escape up to Oregon to spend some time with my sister.  I had a wonderful weekend but noticed that I get extremely nervous about so many things I never worried about when pregnant with my own children.  I started frantically searching google while in line for airport security to make sure it was safe for me to go through the scanner (even though I traveled internationally while pregnant with all 3 of my boys and never stressed over it).  There have been other examples and I'm just praying for my heart to trust and rest in God's will for this child and not over-think everything I do in the next 4 months.

Well I think that's it for now! Thanks for following along on this amazing journey!

Give the People what they Want!

Ha-ha! So, my title for this post comes from another AWESOME Saturday we spent with Chad and Stephanie and their family this last week.  We had hoped to spend time together in July but my nausea kept getting in the way so it had been awhile since we saw each other.  The day before we were going over to their house, Stephanie messaged that her mom had surprised her by flying in for a quick trip for her Birthday and we would get to meet her on Saturday.  I jokingly wrote back:

“Ahhhh, we’re “meeting the parents”.  What if she doesn’t like me and I’m already carrying her grandchild!?”

We all kind of chuckled through text messages but as the night worn on I told daniel, “I actually AM kind of nervous to meet her.”  This is ‘the mom’, maybe Chad and Stephanie like us but they have rose colored glasses on cause their ‘stuck with us’ now that I’m carrying their child.  Maybe Stephanie’s mom will see my flaws more clearly?  Daniel just rolled his eyes and said, ‘Honey it will be FINE!’

So, we got to their home on Saturday morning but Stephanie’s mom had gone out to run some errands.  We quickly fell into easy conversation and catch up as the morning went on.  As we were sitting down to breakfast, Nana arrived back.  I took a deep breath and walked around the table to give her a hug.  She reached out, wrapped her arms arounds me and squeezed me tighter than I anticipated but still loved.  In that moment, I knew Daniel was right (shhhhh don’t tell him that), it was all going to be fine!

We spent a glorious day around the pool chatting.  Most of the time Daniel, Chad and the 5 boys, age 6 and under, swam in the pool while Stephanie, Nana and I sat around under the umbrella chatting about our families and our newest experiences with the Surrogacy journey.  At one point, Stephanie’s mom mentioned how much she enjoyed reading this blog and how she always checks for the next installment.  Then a few hours later, one of Stephanie’s best friends called via Facetime to wish her a happy birthday and we got to say hi and she also mentioned how much she enjoys keeping up with what is happening on this journey through the blog posts.  Hence my title “Give the people what they want” because I’ve been wanting to sit down for a few days and type up an update but kept putting it off.  This one’s for you Angela!

Just like last time when we got together, the day FLEW by and our boys began to enter what we call “self-destruct” mode and Daniel and I knew we needed to start heading home.  We said our goodbyes and gave lots of hugs until our next meeting and I found I was SO grateful for an opportunity to meet more of Chad and Stephanie’s family and grow even closer to our new friends! 

On Friday, I took a belly shot cause even though I am only 15 weeks now, I feel like I look 6 months pregnant in some tops.  Again, most likely just left-over belly ‘love’ from bringing my boys into this world but I gotta admit, having a ‘bump’ again feels so surreal.

Back on Aug 2^nd I had my first appointment with our new OB.  It took me awhile to find the right building since its attached to the hospital and there were many buildings to choose from.  I found the right office and was SO happy to walk into a VERY nice, clean, modern and new medical building.  I got to the desk and filled out all my paperwork.  They mentioned there would be a co-pay (which I usually don’t have with OB appointments) and I asked if that would be every time.  I was SO delighted to be called back quite quickly and after taking all my vitals (curse you scale!) I was shown back to an examine room.  The nurse sat down at the computer and opened my file and said, “ok so you are here today for a woman’s wellness check-up?”  Uhhhh no, I’m 13 weeks pregnant and a surrogate and I’m here for my first OB appointment.

I could see the slight shock on her face but she did very well and quickly and professionally looked into it.  Apparently, the call center had booked me for a wellness appointment not an OB even though I had called them twice to make sure my OB took new pregnancy patients.  They quickly got it all figured out and since Daniel was at home with the boys I didn’t push them to rush and tried to stay as relaxed as possible.  I MUST admit though that when she left the room to figure it all out I rolled my eyes and wondered “Can I NOT just have a normal OB appointment where everything just goes according to plan?”

Even the receptionist who took my co-pay came in and apologized and mentioned she had taken the co-pay thinking I was here for a different reason and if needed she would refund it for me.  Turns out the amount I paid was the exact amount for an initial patient consultation so it worked out fine. 

Anyway, after a few moments, my new OB came in and I instantly liked him.  He reminds me very much of my OB from South Africa, very calm, a little quiet and he took hand written notes on a notepad which for some reason just made me feel at home.  He didn’t ask me 10,000 questions like the other OB office and he simply covered the bases and then did an exam.  Baby girl’s heartbeat was great and the rest of my body was fine.  Since it was my first time with him, he did suggest we do the pregnancy blood workup just to have our bases covered.  He asked if I had any questions or concerns and I mentioned to him that at my last check-up with my previous OB I had seen that the cyst that had been around since my first ultrasound at 5 weeks was continuing to grow bigger and the size was slightly concerning to me.  The Nurse practitioner had insisted that cysts were normal and nothing to worry about but something about the size didn’t sit well with me.  He suggested I come back in the next few days for an ultrasound just to make sure everything is ok and to put my mind at ease.  We also talked about my previous C-sections and how we will be doing another C-section with this baby.  Repeat C-sections are usually scheduled during week 39 which means I will have an exact date of delivery which I have never had with a baby before but will be easier all around as we plan for all the families to be there to welcome this little girl into the world! We will schedule the exact date a little farther along in this pregnancy journey.

So, after my appointment I had my blood drawn for the work up and then headed home.  One thing I noticed about this hospital that I’m REALLY liking is that even though it is a full and professional hospital it is on the smaller side.  And because of that, the doctor was readily available during my whole appointment.  When they said he would be “right in”, he was there within a few minutes.  When I went to make my next appointments, they had tons of openings and I was able to get an ultrasound 2 days later.  It was just so relaxing and calm and I felt so at peace.

So 2 days later I went back for an ultrasound during which I figured the tech would simply take a few pics of the cyst to make sure everything was ok.  Nope! I had a full 20-30-minute scan, the kind you normally get around 19-21 weeks where they can tell you the gender.  I asked her if I could have some pictures to send to the parents and I was able to send them so many.  She and I talked about surrogacy and she mentioned I was the 3^rd or 4^th surrogate patient she had scanned in the last few months which just put my heart at ease even more to know that Surrogacy was not new to this hospital.

So that’s it I think! Baby girl is growing just fine.  In fact, she measured a few days ahead of our projected due date so that was encouraging to hear since it felt like in the beginning we were always a day or two behind or right on the line.  It’s also funny how hearing someone say that my due date of Feb 2 looks more like Jan 31 INSTANTLY made me feel like it was a WHOLE month closer! Ha-ha! Mental tricks!  God continues to be the center of this entire journey and I can’t express enough how grateful I am to be walking this road with Chad and Stephanie and our connection through Jesus Christ.  We’ve all said from the beginning that we are taking steps towards a healthy baby but we are also trusting and leaving all of it in God’s hands and we know it’s His will that will come to pass no matter what!

Being Pregnant but Not Preparing for a Baby at Home...Weird!

So, there have been a lot of "news" for me this pregnancy. 

I don't mean news like "things to report" I mean news like the new items and feelings and expectations, etc. I think about 90% of the "news" simply comes from being a surrogate while 10% of the news comes from being pregnant over 30, with a girl, with 3 boys at home.

I must admit it has been funny to start receiving diaper and bottle and nursing top advertisements and all I can think is "nope, not going to need those".

It's a whole new world to realize you are pregnant but you aren't mentally or physically preparing yourself for after the hospital. My only immediate plan will be to sleep and to heal and love on my boys as much as possible!

So, the last few weeks haven't been much different. Still feeling slightly queasy but thank the Lord not the debilitating nausea I had for about 3 weeks. I'm pretty certain the increased nausea was due to the extra hormones I was taking because of the special circumstances of IVF and surrogacy in general. I'm now 11 and a half weeks and each day gets a little better. 

A few weeks ago, I was weaned off the hormone supplements but my numbers didn't hold as high as they would have preferred. It wasn't dangerously low but with all these procedures the doctors always err on the side of safety so I went back on one of the supplements until this week. Once the placenta develops it will take over all hormone production. I am going in Friday to check my numbers just to be certain they are holding for baby's safety.

Around 8 weeks I dug my proverbial heels into the ground and refused to go buy pregnancy shorts. I was only 8 weeks, there is no way I needed maternity clothing yet. But alas, with this being my 5th pregnancy my body was like "oh I know exactly what to do and how to stretch, let's get ready" and I broke down at 9 weeks and have enjoyed the elastic waist ever since 😉

July will mark the end of the first trimester and it can't come soon enough! This has by far been my hardest first trimester and that includes crossing the Atlantic with air sickness with each one of my boys in my first trimester. Again, certain things like being over 30 vs 23 when I first did this and extra hormones have added to that. I've never loathed Summer as much as I have the last few weeks. The other night I had what I can only describe as the very opposite of a nightmare, it was euphoric! I was wearing a sweater and a scarf and I was calling out to my husband "It's COLD, it's ACTUALLY COLD!" Alas I shall endure and I keep reminding myself how glad I am that when I feel as big as a whale at the end of the pregnancy it will be dead of winter! Woohoo! And, of course, when I say "winter" in Southern California it will probably be 60 degrees.

I had a little snag a few days ago that left me in hormonal tears for a few days. After we returned from South Africa I never had the need for a gynecologist. My GP could fulfill whatever I needed. So, for surrogacy I had to start from complete scratch finding an OB/GYN to deliver this baby! Well I did my research and asked some moms I knew and decided to go with a doctor in one of the largest hospitals in Orange County. 2 weeks a before I was to be released from my fertility doctor I called the OB's office and confirmed they took my insurance and was informed the doctor would need to look over my paperwork before he could accept me as a new patient. I got my paperwork from UCLA, dropped it off in person and waited a few days. I got the call that the doctor could take me on and I made the soonest appointment available to meet with one of his nurse practitioners for my initial consultation. Fast forward a few weeks and I spent almost 2 hours at my first appointment creating a file for me, going over all my history and what I knew of Chad and Stephanie's history (since the baby is fully genetically theirs) and getting an ultrasound. Little embie looked great with 4 little stubs still growing (arms and legs). I decided she looked like a teddy bear. The nurse tried for 10 min to get a profile shot but the little girl just wanted to stare straight on at the camera. 

Fast forward a few more days and I get a call from someone at the hospital informing me that not only my doctor but the hospital itself doesn't take my insurance. I was shocked. I told her I double checked AND I waited for over an hour to be seen after giving them my insurance card and no one thought to look it up? There was nothing I could say eventually. I have an EPO and they only take PPOs. And of course, this all happened on a Friday so I felt pressured to find another doctor quick before the weekend even though I didn't need a check-up for another month.

Luckily, after a nap and my emotions settled down I decided not to make any decisions and just wait for the weekend and research and pray and take my time finding another doctor. By Monday I had found another hospital as well as an AMAZING OB that had stopped delivering babies a few years ago but recently joined the hospital and was taking patients again. My first appointment won't be until Aug 2 but I'm hoping it all goes well. You never know what God's plans are but none of this was a surprise to Him and we'll never know what or why He chose to have it happen this way but I can trust that His ways are prefect!

So that's it for me. Wasn't a super exciting update but wanted to fill everyone in on the last few weeks. If you think of it, please pray for me and my family as we are heading to Northern California for a quick trip this weekend and then bringing family back down with us for a few days and I would love to not have any nausea while they are here!